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I know I’ve harped on a bit about the possibility of France 2016 but I’m excited! Truth is, my nipples have been erect since the Ireland game at Celtic Park back in November….Moving quickly along, I’m now starting to think about an imaginative Scotland Team Mascot for next year’s Euros. What about a caricature transposing the head of Alex Salmond on to the body of Nicola Sturgeon and calling it Hamish Homerule – ach, that’s probably been done already by the petrified and morally bankrupt English press.

For a more serious suggestion maybe we can draw inspiration from our old World Cup Mascots. Roary Superscot was the Bremneresque mascot from 1974 complete with the letter S on the front of his shirt.[I foolishly thought it was a number 5 and that he had put his shirt on back to front]. In 1978 I think we went with a Thistle-like emblem rather than a mascot and in 1982 we had the rather glaikit-looking Sandy. This young lad sported a Scotland strip and a Tartan Bunnet but if it was supposed to be some sort of homage to the legendary Scotland defender Sandy Jardine then it failed miserably.

For the Mexico 86 world cup we roared back [sort of] in the shape of McMex – a pished-looking lion in a sombrero. I think we lost the plot altogether though with ‘Scoticus’ our mascot for Italia 90. Scoticus was a tartan-clad Roman centurion who looked disturbingly like Kenneth Williams in the film ‘Carry on Cleo’. I couldn’t find anything for France 98 [or indeed Euro 92 and 96] but surely there was something? I don’t believe that the marketing men failed to try and exploit the situation.

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Back to the future then and learning from history I propose a tough but funny, Chic Murray inspired, lion mascot called Roary MacLeod – in deference to two of Scotland’s greatest Champions – the aforementioned Roary Superscot and former manager Ally MacLeod. I’d also have Roary clad in a ‘loud but proud’ sports jacket in honour of the late, great Arthur Montford. I think we’re on a winner here.Fritz , the Editor of the Partick Thistle fanzine ‘Sick in the Basin’ is also no mean artist so if he can cobble this image together we can split the royalties 50/50 and help fund a one hundred page Scotland Epistles Summer 2016 Special. As David Cassidy used to sing ‘ I’m just a daydreamer, walking in the rain…..’

Robert Marshall

First posted on Facebook May 8th, 2015