The Scotland Epistles Football Magazine

I think David Stuart’s idea about football statues is spot-on but can I suggest that we think big on this one. Let’s have some Stalinist-sized statues which straddle the approachways to Hampden – we could even have one of our friend Ray Clemence that is large enough to allow supporters buses and coaches to drive between his legs.

Bigger still, let’s utilise the nearby Campsie Hills or Cathkin Braes to create Scottish Football’s answer to Mount Rushmore. I would propose a monument to management in the shape of Ally MacLeod, Jock Stein, Andy Roxburgh and Craig Brown. If done properly it should be a damn sight more pleasing to the eye than those War of the Worlds like, invasion of the wind turbines. Of course we don’t need to restrict ourselves to just four images grouped together- we could have them dotted all over the Scottish landscape with Gordon Strachan strategically placed on the side of the southern uplands in order to welcome visitors heading north. Vogts, Burley and Levein on the Paps of Jura? If the political will is there, these suggestions could be converted into major capital projects that would help tackle unemployment as we strive to build this socialist paradise of ours. By jove, that Old Speckled Hen ale is strong stuff….