The Scotland Epistles Football Magazine

Scotland Football Fanzine





Your fanzine needs you – or at least a small amount of your money as we strive to convert ‘Likes’ into ‘Sales’ or ‘Scotland Epistles’ is likely to go the same way as fellow Scotland fanzines ‘Que Sera, Sera’ and ‘Haggis Supper’ etc only with considerably fewer editions produced – albeit glossy, full colour, B5-sized editions…..


I suppose an alternative ‘ending’ would be to go online like ‘The Famous Tartan Army Magazine’.

Also, the original intention was that all profits would go to charity but unfortunately all three issues to date have failed to break even.As a paper-loving Luddite however I would prefer that we were able to continue to produce something tangible and at only £3.00 a copy we are obviously not asking for a Greece-style bail-out just a small sacrifice, for example –

Gents – Do you really need a porn mag or FourFourTwo this month? Why not buy a fanzine instead?

Ladies – Do you really need to replace those tights that have holes in them? I think the ‘aerated-look’ is rather fetching – so why not buy a fanzine instead?

Transgenders who are about to undergo sex-change operations- Something for you to read in the hospital recovery ward?

Lawyers/accountants/politicians – I’m sure you can claim the money back through expenses somehow.

And finally, to all those who have already given their support- as a buyer, seller, contributor or positive reviewer – a big, big THANKYOU!

All the best and hopefully there will be an issue 4 in 2016 to help chase away the Euro Championship blues…

Robert Marshall

(You can buy it on eBay. Just search for Scotland Epistles, Bullshit and Thistles)



And so it came to pass that Scotland were eliminated from the 2015 Rugby Union World Cup at the Quarter Finals stage – the sixth time we have gone out at this point in the competition and the second occasion that Australia have done us in. But we came close, helluva close to making it to the semi-finals and in many ways it was even more painful than the recent Poland result. Cue reference to Glorious failure, defeat from the jaws of victory etc etc etc.Now call me a sore loser, but time for a quick chant of – ”Rolfie Harris, he’s one of your own…….”

On a less petty note however, here’s a quick look at the real football matches in which we have put Australia to the sword.November/December 1985 saw that rare achievement – Scotland winning a play-off. In the first leg at Hampden, goals from Davie Cooper and Frank McAvennie gave us a 2-0 victory which was followed up with a goal-less draw in Melbourne two weeks later and off Scotland trotted to the Mexico 86 World Cup Finals with caretaker-manager Alex Ferguson at the helm.


We then beat the Socceroos/Scooby-Doos 1-0 at Hampden in March 1996 as Craig Brown prepared for our appearance at the Euro 96 Finals. Ally McCoist got the winner on the night he won his 50th cap and captained his country.


More recently, Scotland beat Australia 3-1 in a challenge match at Easter Road, Edinburgh in August 2012. Jordan Rhodes and Ross McCormack netted either side of an own goal by Jason Donovan, I mean Davidson. Scotland used six subs that evening and Ian Black was one of them. The former Hearts player, who was then with Rangers in the Third Division, was boo-ed by a number of so-called Scotland supporters as he took to the field of play. Call me naive or old fashioned but I think you should never boo your own team – it only helps the opposition.

In conclusion then, I think it would be great if we could copy Australia and change football confederations to play our world cup qualifiers in Asia. I can see saltires and footsoldiers in the likes of Bangkok, Tehran and Tianamen Square. Just remember you read it here first…..and probably last.

Robert Marshall

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