With regards to the new replica Scotland jerseys I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. The Tartan ‘Hibs/Arsenal’ top is too far removed from the standard dark blue jersey for my liking but then again I’m a stubborn traditionalist who has difficulty embracing change or so the results of my psychometric testing says. I’m swithering about the pink away top however – it all comes down to whether or not my blind patriotism can overcome my homophobia. Would Billy Bremner or Graeme Souness have worn it?

Anyway, as an aside I’ve attached a couple of adverts for previous new-kit launches and I particularly like the delusional Brazil supporters version. [Co-incidently, ‘Delusional’ is another word that crops up in my psychometric report]. Both adverts were scanned from Scotland match programmes some time ago but I’m damned if I can remember which programmes or which years they are from and I can’t be arsed searching through them all again so if you know which season they relate to I’d be much obliged.

It goes without saying though that as a Scotland [and Partick Thistle] supporter, I have worn some gaudy, God-awful, garments over the years and I’m sure we all have our favourite wardrobe malfunctions/fashion faux-pas [don’t be afraid to share them with us – you’ll feel better for it] but I just can’t visualise either of the new tops on the playing fields at Russia 2018. Then again, WHEN we make it to Moscow etc I’ve no doubt that the marketing men will have provided us with a further two or three World Cup Specials to spend our cash on.All things considered then, I might just get that new pink top and have ‘Liberace’ added to the back of it – just to prove I’m not prejudiced. I’m sure it will go down a storm at my local boozer – The Testosterone Arms.

Robert ‘Shut that door’ Marshall