The Scotland Epistles Football Magazine

When I was doing research for the Johnny McKenzie piece the other week, someone let me know that Johnny was in fact the second oldest Scotland surviving Scotland player. The first is Bobby Brown of Rangers, who was goalkeeper for Scotland in in 3 internationals or is it 5? Bobby took part in some of the Victory Internationals, which took place in season ’45 -’46. Of the home nations Scotland is the only one that recognises these and so it’s quite hard to keep track of how many exactly.

Happy Birthday John Spencer, no not the snooker player nor the actor from West Wing but the wee guy that used to play for Chelsea and Scotland. Oh right, him but wait David, its John Greig’s birthday on the 11th as well, surely we should be celebrating that? Well, aye but we already did a piece on him this year away back in Julember. So sorry Mr. Greig but you will have to wait for next year.
Anyway back to John Spencer, who will be 45 on September 11th. John mainly had a bit part to play in our successful Qualifier campaign for Euro ’96 but did start a in our first two games of the tournament itself. This was a period where like today, we didn’t have a great goalscorer available to us with the exception of Ally McCoist who at this point was used sparingly but quite effectively if you look at wins against Greece in qualifying and Switzerland in the finals. Generally though, it was players like Gordon Durie, Darren Jackson, Scott Booth, Duncan Shearer who were all hard working earnest players who gave their all but lacked that International class.
John’s first game was as a sub against Russia coming on for Bolton’s John McGinlay in the second half at Hampden in November 1994. Scott Booth had opened the scoring in the 19th minute but Dmitri Radchenko had equalised shortly after and that’s how the game finished.
The following month and it was another qualifier against Greece in Athens coming on for Billy McKinlay; the Greeks had already scored from a dubious penalty and again there was to be no further scoring.
John would feature again as a sub in an away qualifier in April, 1995 against the mighty San Marino in Serraville with John Collins and Colin Calderwood scoring the goals that gave the Scots a 2-0 win. John came on for Duncan Shearer.
His first start came in the Kirin Cup as Scotland drew nil nil with hosts Japan in Hiroshima in May ’95. At this point you may have noticed that John’s hasn’t got on the scoresheet as yet. I wouldn’t bother skipping ahead to see when that happens as John never did hit the back of the pokey in his fourteen games.
Cap number five saw John line up beside Scott Booth in another qualifier against Finland in September ’95 at Hampden. John Collins took a short corner and passed to Spencer who passed it back, Collin’s crosses and Booth scores with a header. Whoo-hoo one nil in ten minutes and that’s how it stayed.
Then came the pre-tournament friendlies; John started or came on as a sub against Australia at Hampden (1-0, McCoist), Denmark in Copenhagen (pumped 2-0), USA in New Britain (beat 2-1, Durie our only goal), Colombia in Miami (beat 1-0).

With that confidence boosting run of games we entered the 1996 Euro Finals. First up John started against Netherlands at Villa Park. Scotland had their chances but failed to find the net as did the Dutch, as we ground out a nil nil draw. John was replaced by Scott Booth at the start of the second half.
John once again started against England at Wembley but was replaced by McCoist in the second half, like the Dutch game Scotland had chances, notably Gary McAllister’s missed penalty but lost out two nil in the end.
In what was to be our final game of the championships against Switzerland at Villa Park, Ally McCoist started instead of John and scored a wonderful goal which turned out to be the winner. John came on for Ally with six minutes or so to play.
John would play twice more for Scotland in a World Cup qualifier against Latvia in Riga, which the Scots won 2-0 with John Collins and Darren Jackson scoring and coming on as a sub in a one nil friendly defeat to Wales at Hampden in May 1997. This was his only game as a QPR player, but the emergence of Kevin Gallagher and Darren Jackson partnership up front that saw us qualify for France 1998 and John’s own club career dwindling, combined to ensure he never played again for the national team.

So John Spencer 14 games and no goals is it worth remembering? Well it is in a boring statto way to me, as sometimes, it’s when you’re not looking for something you come across it. John played against Russia, Greece, San Marino, Japan, Finland, Australia, Denmark, USA, Colombia, Netherlands, England, Switzerland, Latvia and Wales. Yep, fourteen games and fourteen different nations. So Jamie Forrest, is not a record holder but for now it’s John Spencer; unless you know different.
Happy Birthday John.

David Stuart

First posted on Facebook September 11th, 2015

Picked up this book in Oxfam today for £3.99 and it’s well worth it as there are some cracking photos which I will use over the next few weeks I’m sure. However, this one has the best quote from Denis “I’m young and fit and ready for action, the sun is shining brightly and I have a Scotland shirt on my back. Who could ask for more?”

David Stuart

First posted on Facebook September 9th, 2015

10th September 2015 marks the 30th anniversary of the death of former Scotland Manager Jock Stein at a World Cup qualifying match in Cardiff. The following observations linked to three Scotland match programmes doesn’t begin to do the great man’s career justice but I’d like to say something nonetheless.

[1] Scotland v. Norway – Euro Championship qualifier – 25th October 1978.Jock Stein took over as manager of a Scotland team one game into the qualifiers for Euro 80 but still low in morale following the Argentina world cup debacle. A crowd of 65,372 turned up for his first game in charge – against Norway – despite there being a bus strike in Glasgow that day – and they saw eleven Anglo-Scots win 3-2. Five home Scots [though none from Celtic] were listed in the 18 man squad and on pages 6 and 7 of the match programme Stein’s address to the nation began with ‘We must all be patient’ before going on to highlight some of the major differences between managing at club and international level. Stein also felt the need to state where he stood on the question of Scotland players in English football, intimating that he believed there were good players on both sides of the border…..

[2] Scotland v. England – Rous Cup – 25th May 1985.Stein guided Scotland to the 1982 World Cup Finals and delivered a trophy in the shape of the inaugural Rous Cup as the result of a 1-0 victory over England at Hampden.Indeed 1985 is the last time Scotland managed to beat their old enemy in Glasgow and it was also Stein’s last home game in charge. England were managed by Bobby Robson, another great football man who sadly is no longer with us. On page 10 of the programme [which is reproduced here] Stein defended the logic of playing England just four days before a vital world cup qualifier in Iceland -which Scotland would also win 1-0.[Two Scotland wins in four days – you see, it can be done….]

[3] Wales v. Scotland – World Cup qualifier – 10th September 1985.That fateful evening at Ninian Park, Cardiff…..Scotland required a draw to make it into the play-offs and thanks to an admittedly soft penalty award we were able to get one but the Tartan Army post-match celebrations quickly turned to sorrow as the news filtered through that Big Jock had collapsed at the end of the game and had died shortly afterwards in the stadium’s medical room. Thirty years on, the match programme is still tinged with sadness to the extent that it is difficult to read in a totally detached manner. Page 21 is given over to the views of the visiting manager with the heading being ‘British football must be the winner says Jock Stein, C.B.E.’ As it transpired British football was the loser as the groundbreaking manager, who should have been Knighted, passed away. As a Scotland [and former Rangers] supporter I’ve always been envious of the fact that Jock Stein was in charge at Celtic Park longer than he was at Hampden but I am also extremely grateful that he was a Scotland manager during my lifetime with the whole Spain 82 experience being a major highlight.

Thanks Mr. Stein and Rest in Peace.

Robert Marshall

First posted on Facebook September 8th, 2015

Well, it’s not been the greatest weekend has it? Has anyone recovered enough from Friday’s events to face work again on Monday or even think about the game? I’ve been working all weekend so it’s been a bit easier to get through, at least I’ve not spent the weekend mulling over the game or tipping myself over the edge by trawling through Fans Forums. Jesus, there must be about forty different threads on TAMB alone whether it’s picking on this player or that or Strachan’s choices. The truth is we were crap and hopefully we can’t be that bad again . . . surely.
And anyway, you guys think you’ve got it bad; spare a thought for us Epistles guys. We’ve launched a magazine with plans to get us all the way to the finals. Who’s going to buy issue four and where the hell are we going to sell it?

So please remember Robert and I have families to support and kids to get through Uni and buy their first car it seems and if you haven’t already bought a copy of issue 3 please do tomorrow or at least get yer mate to buy one. Robert will be on Somerville Drive selling, I will be the other side from Lesser Hampden. Watch out for my great selling technique; generally hold a copy up in the air and just look forlorn, so please cheer me up and buy a copy or say hello.
Robert’s wife and her friend will be selling on Aitkenhead Road at the entrance near the Beechwood; my son Ewan will be selling near the transport hub on Aitkenhead too, up until 7.45pm as he’s going to play football at Toryglen. Who does that when a games on at Hampden?
Anyway thanks for your support already, we only need to sell a hundred or so and we might have an issue that makes a profit. Going back to Friday night Jamie Forrest came on as a sub and continued his run of playing against a different team every time he has been capped. 11 caps and 11 countries; namely Republic of Ireland, Denmark, Liechtenstein, Spain, Slovenia, Serbia, Macedonia, England, Belgium, Qatar and now Georgia. I know Simon Donnelly played against ten different teams also but surely Jamie must be unique in this and with games against Germany, Poland and Gibraltar to come, is there any stopping him?

I was heading home today on the good ol’ 75 bus and it was full of German supporters heading to Hampden to have a wee look see. I couldn’t help think that they were the Teutonic versions of Robert Marshall as I’m sure he reconnoitres empty football grounds and takes wee photos too. I wonder if they have a fanzine.
Finally, with the Germans coming to Hampden tomorrow I leave you with a couple of thoughts; despite their nations’ reputation for efficiency, they are still flawed and I have the proof in the pictures. These come from a German magazine produced before the ’78 World Cup. Come on getting Rioch (Happy Birthday Bruce, Pat Nevin and Brian O’Neill – maybe next year) and Stewart Kennedy mixed up is bad enough but Hugh Allan as Ally MacLeod that’s plain ridiculous.
The other thought is apparently that German phrase we’ve been hearing for years means Advancement Through Technique (or technology). So the Scottish call for tomorrow is not Advancement through technique but Vorsprung Durch Gettingstuckrightintaethem!
David Stuart

First posted on Facebook September 6th, 2015

They say it isn’t over until the fat lady sings but somewhat worryingly, last night the ‘ghost’ of Hattie Jacques was spotted in the reception area of Hampden Park warbling ‘When Irish eyes are smiling.’ So who are we gonna call? Well right now I’d take a midfield of Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Rick Moranis and Sigourney Weaver. As sore ones go, the game in Tbilisi is right up there with the time I put my willie in the toaster – metaphorically speaking.A few of the Epistles Apostles chose to watch the game in that Glasgow pub called ‘Walkabout’ but unfortunately we didn’t see Jenny Agutter or a single Scotland shot on target – two big disappointments in the one evening.

Johnny MacKenzie will reach the grand old age of ninety on September 4th. Johnny played on the wing for Partick Thistle in the 1950’s and was known as the ‘Firhill Flyer’. Johnny was capped nine times for Scotland and is the only known Gaelic speaking player to represent Scotland at football. Although born in Denistoun, Glasgow, Johnny’s mother came from Tiree where Johnny now lives, his father was originally from Skye.
Johnny gained his first cap on November 4th, 1953 in a game at Hampden against Wales that doubled up as a Home International and World Cup Qualifier. Also, making his debut and only Scotland appearance was Willie Telfer of St. Mirren. The Scots drew 3-3 with goals from Allan Brown and Hibs Famous Five players Bobby Johnstone and Lawrie Reilly.

Five months later in April, 1954 Johnny faced England at Hampden in front of a crowd of 143,544. Scotland would lose 4-2 with the Scots goals coming from Allan Brown and debutant Hibs legend and future Scotland manager Willie Ormond. However, with Wales losing 2-1 to Northern Ireland a few days before Scotland qualified as runner up in the 1953-54 Home International series.
Johnny’s only goal for Scotland came in a World Cup warm up against Norway in Oslo as the Scots drew one all. A few days later in Helsinki against Finland and Scotland won 2-1 with goals from Hibs duo Bobby Johnstone and Willie Ormond. This was to be the only time Johnny would taste victory in a Scotland shirt.

It’s safe to say that Scotland’s World Cup campaign in Switzerland was a bit of a disaster and some of it was self-inflicted. The SFA had decided that they would only bring thirteen players despite being allotted the usual twenty two. There was also the issue of Rangers being allowed to tour America at the same time and taking their Scotland regulars with them.
Scotland narrowly lost their first game in Zurich one nil to Austria and the full line-up for our first ever World Cup game was; Fred Martin (Aberdeen), Willie Cunningham (Preston – Captain), John Aird (Burnley), Tommy Docherty (Preston), Jimmy Davidson (Partick Thistle), Doug Cowie (Dundee), Johnny MacKenzie (Thistle), Willie Fernie, Neil Mochan (both Celtic), Allan Brown (Blackpool) and Willie Ormond of Hibs.

Their final game was against Uruguay in a very hot Basle with the Scots playing in heavy winter football strips. Johnny is quoted as saying “Did I play in that game. I certainly didn’t touch the ball that often. It was so hot and our kit was unbearable. I lost about half a stone in weight.” The Scots lost 7-0.
Cap number seven came in December 1954 when the mercurial Hungarians came to town beating Scotland 4-2 in front of a crowd of 113,146. Scotland’s gaols came from Bobby Johnstone and Off the Ball legend Tommy Ring. Ferenc Puskas said of Johnny’s performance that he had “never seen wing play of such a high standard”. Praise indeed.

Five months later and Johnny and his Scotland teammates were shell-shocked by a blistering start by England at Wembley that saw the Scots 4-1 down with only 27 minutes played. The game would finish 7-2 with the Scots goals coming from Lawrie Reilly and Tommy Docherty. Johnny’s last appearance came in May, 1956 in a one each draw with Austria. Hearts’ Alfie Conn (Senior, of course) scored the Scots goal in his only appearance for the national side.
So Happy Birthday Johnny.

David Stuart

First posted on Facebook September 4th, 2015

A wee light hearted reminiscence of France ’98.

One of the best sports documentaries ever made is When We Were Kings, which is about the ‘rumble in the jungle’ – Muhammad Ali’s heavyweight contest against George Foreman in Zaire in 1974 (awright this is a football fanzine and am talkin aboot boxin but stick with me). Ali was the big hero as always and was followed everywhere by huge crowds of young Zairians. My favourite scene is when Ali goes out for his early mornin run and there are hundreds outside the trainin camp waitin to accompany him. Her sets off and they follow in behind. As they jog along the chant goes up,

“Alee ku-muu-a”. (trans: Ali kill him)

“Alee ku-muu-a”

More and more join in, until it is a resoundin primordial chant as they jog in time and punch the air,

“ALEE KU-MUU-A”.

“ALEE KU-MUU-A.”

“ALEE KU-MUU-A”.

“ALEE KU-MUU-A,”

and that’s how Muhammad Ali helped us beat the Brazilians. Let me explain.

We had played Brazil in the opening game of France 98 and were narrowly beaten (as ye well know). I had watched the game on the big screen at the Hote de Ville (town hall) in Paris with my 11 year old son Jordan, my brother David and several friends, and two of my outstanding memories of that day were the sound of John Collins’ penalty and the soakin wetness of the final whistle. When Collins slotted the penalty home to equalize, there was an incredible sound, apart from the huge cheer, I’d never heard before or since; it was the sound of thousands of beer, whisky and wine bottles and glasses, bein dropped on the ground or accidentally thrown in the air as the majority of the crowd leapt up in a great outpourin of joy and threw their arms wide ready to hug each other in celebration, before comin crashin and smashin back down to earth. It was an incredible, indescribable sound, like an elongated crrrrsssshhhmasshhhh (telt ye – indescribable).

Of course it was short lived as we were defeated when the ball went in off Tommy Boyd’s shoulder to put them 2-1 up. As soon as the final whistle sounded the skies, which had previously been bright blue, immediately turned black, there was a huge clap of thunder and an eruption of torrential rain that soaked us through to the skin within minutes. It was as if all the heavens were cryin for us sufferin another inglorious defeat.

So that was the openin game but on the Thursday (it might’ve been the Friday) we had to get the train from Gar du Nord to Bordeaux in preparation for the game against Norway, and it was on this train that Muhammad Ali helped us defeat the Brazilians. The journey was four hours long and started off with the usual nonsense you’d expect from hundreds of football fans at the world’s greatest event – drinkin, singin , drinkin, laughin, drinkin, fourteen-a-side football in the carriage, before it simmered down after a couple of hours to just drinkin, chattin and fallin asleep.

By the time we were pullin into Bordeaux we were all pretty subdued and lookin forward to gettin off and into some fresh air. Apart from the hundreds of Tartan Army foot soldiers there were a few normal French citizens about and in our carriage, five Brazilians (four men and a woman, don’t know why they were there, Brazil were playin elsewhere). As we stood up (far too early) in desperation to get off, one of the Brazilians, who had all remained seated, began singin a wee song in Portugese (there’s no such language as Brazilian), while lookin at the Scots and laughin. His companions cast their glances our way and also started gigglin and laughin. He sang another wee verse, more sniggerin and gigglin and lookin at us askance. After three or four verses we were all standin in silence, watchin them, which they found funnier and funnier – until this six feet four kilted warrior towerin over their table thumped the roof and chanted, “Alee ku-muu-a!”

He thumped the roof again and I joined in, “Alee ku-muu-a!”

The chant swept the carriage like wildfire until all the Scots and some of the French were thumpin the roof, walls and windows and stampin their feet causin the carriage to sway from side to side,

“ALEE KU-MUU-A”

“ALEE KU-MUU-A”

“ALEE KU-MUU-A”

There was no gigglin or laughin,it was all very dead pan and it became a resoundin primordial chant. I looked at the Brazilians, they looked at their feet. At last we’d silenced them, and that’s how Muhammad Ali helped us beat the Brazilians.

Alan J Nelson

First posted on Facebook September 3rd, 2015