The Scotland Epistles Football Magazine

As well as being a dinosaur who struggles with new technology I also don’t like lager. It’s Tartan Special [or McEwan’s Export] for me when I can find pubs in Glasgow and beyond that actually sell the stuff. As such I was almost moved to tears when I recently re-discovered an advert for Tartan Special on the reverse of the Cyprus-Scotland programme from 1989 – the world cup qualifier in which Richard Gough netted the winner about two days into stoppage time.

Another Scotland-Brazil match, another hard luck story, and another colourful, evocative image. This time it’s the opening match of the 1998 World Cup Finals in the Stade de France, Paris on 10th June.I was amongst the 80,000 which saw Cesar Sampaio give the defending World Champions the lead after only four minutes. There was no Scotland collapse though and before half-time the pacy Kevin Gallacher won us a penalty which was converted by the posy John Collins.

If they ever do allow bevvy at the fitbaw again, here is the perfect ale

I loved the Hampden beer images so much so that they had me scuttling to the back of my garage [aka Area 51] in search of something similar.I think the ‘Hampden Roar’ label is from the 1950s but hey I’m no David Dickinson -TF!

Nowadays, the Mount Florida hostelry, The Clockwork Beer Company produce their own ‘Hampden Roar Ale’ which was previously known as ‘Thunder and Lightning.’ Alas, it gave me a dose of the ‘Bryan Gunns.’WHEN Scotland qualify for next year’s Euros hopefully we will have some celebratory beers to enjoy [EG Saviour Strachan’s Eighty Shilling] and associated labels and beermats to collect.

The Danny McGrain beermat is from the Argentina 78 collection but unfortunately he didn’t make it to South America due to a serious foot injury. Another one for theWhat If? file.

Not many people in Scotland will feel inclined to celebrate the 23rd of April – St.George’s Day. Apparently it’s a big deal for our nearest and dearest south of the border however and not surprisingly the dragonslayer also gets the V.I.P. treatment in Georgia – our potential Euro-qualifying banana skin. That said, Georgia mark the occasion twice a year – on 6 May and 23 November. I think it has something to do with the Gregorian Calendar which I believe is even sexier than the Pirelli one. Also, two public holidays are better than one.

The Coventry City programmes from 1972/73 reminded me that before these wonderful politically-correct times of ours we had ‘Lager Lovelies’ – good looking lassies whose photographs adorned the side of a can of Tennent’s Lager. Ultimately these cans became collectables in their own right.

Well if we can’t have the girls back on the cans how about introducing sets of Scotland International Footballers – past and present – from Colin Stein to Steven Fletcher, players who could deliver a threesome Frank McAvennie can only dream about. I can see some of the advertising slogans already – e.g. ‘With Joe Jordan and Richard Gough you are bound to get a good head’ – er, em if you know what I mean!

The 1970s is now the decade that everyone denies and decries but I loved it. Two World Cups, Jon Pertwee as Doctor Who plus Glam-Rock, Punk Rock and Disco. Look at the photo of Scotland internationalist Willie Carr – Dig it the Dancing Queen…..

In season 1972/73 Carr was at Coventry City a club whose matchday programme was gloriously non-pc as exemplified by the photograph of a scantily clad female on the reverse of that publication which was for the visit of Leicester City.There was a different model on the back of each Coventry City programme that season which I suspect was an effective encouragement for many teenage lads to get into the hobby of programme collecting.

My conscience was bothering me at excluding Dave MacKay from my favourite Scotland Postcards article so here he is. In the Royal Mail British Legends eleven team photo he is flanked by Bryan Robson [yes, really] and Bobby Charlton and is sitting in front of George Best and John Barnes.

I’ve also included an image of the stamp that never was. Ebullient Ally’s enthusiasm persuaded the Royal Mail to design a stamp in the event of Scotland bringing home the World Cup from Argentina in 1978.What gets me however is not the absurdity of it all [hindsight is a great thing] but the ‘suspect-looking’ celebrations of the Scotland players. It looks like a dance routine straight out of the closing scenes of the cult horror movie ‘The Wicker Man’.

I’ve always thought that Tommy Docherty’s oft-quoted quip was a bit unfair given that many overseas postal services are not what they should be, and that is my tenuous link to having a quick look at some of my favourite Scotland postcards as I while away the days waiting on our next international match.The two postcards from Euro 92 and Euro 96 are a wee reminder of our only appearances to date at the European Championship Finals and that qualification for Euro 2016 would therefore complete a glorious hat-trick.

Twice Brazil have staged the World Cup Finals and on both occasions Scotland failed to appear. However there has been one occasion when the word Escosia has been included in a tournament programme – back in 1972 when Scotland were invited to take part in a 20 team competition celebrating the 150th anniversary of the Brazilian Declaration of Independence.

Scotland, managed by Tommy Docherty and skippered by Billy Bremner were drawn in the same group as hosts Brazil plus Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia – two artificially created countries that are no longer with us but whose independent successor states have mostly done rather well football-wise.